Yes, its in the open. No need to hide how we feel. Once we can put a name to the feeling, we shouldnt be ashamed of it. I couldn't tell you why I've felt so bad lately. I could make a few guesses, but the forces of nature and balances of neurotransmitters are all out of my hands.
Today I spent most of my day with my ass glued to a computer chair as I regurgitated 12 pages of sociological bullshit. I came home, brain fried, and decided to reciprocate this theme with a bowl of fried rice.
I was just about to start an essay, one of which I knew would be interrupted by my class registration appointment, so needless to say I didnt put much effort into starting it. To this moment all it reads is the title and my name.
Then I got a call from my roommate. "come outside and get in the car! Hurry!"
I already knew where she was taking me. She was taking me to look at the christmas lights down the street, the ones I go out of my way to drive by every night on my way home.
"Uhhggg do i have to?"
"Yes! Just get in the car!"
I looked at the clock. It was an hour before I was able to register for classes. All I wanted to do was lay in bed for that hour staring blankly at a screen. And then a good friend's voice popped in my head,
"One of the most important things to remember in life is to do something fun every day. When it comes down to it, only you are responsible for your own happiness. So have a little fun, make yourself go out and do things you normally wouldnt."
So I hopped in, and she said, "I know you might have already seen these, and this isn't my kind of thing, but I know you really love christmas lights... so i wanted to drive you around so you can see them."
Now are you ready for my Sex In the City ending?.. Here goes.
It was then that the icebergs on my shoulder started to melt a little. This wasn't her plan to interrupt my evening. This wasn't her scheme to make me do something I didn't want to do. This was a completely genuine gesture, something that she had thought would make me happy. And it did, it really did.
As we drove underneath icycle lights strung from house to house, what I realized was that although these lights are very enoyable when i drive through them... all I've really been wanting this week was someone to see them with.
I think over this past year, this is one of those moments that I'm most thankful for. And its not just the lights. It's the person in the car next to me.
